I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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