Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
