Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
