So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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