its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
