Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
