We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
4 words: hood of his car
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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