Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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