So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
