I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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