that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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