Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
