id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Randomize