He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
