This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
