Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
