well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
