I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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