whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
