I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
