just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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