there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
