Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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