so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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