So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
