But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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