Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
