Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We are two peas in an std pod
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
