She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Found your dick twin last night
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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