Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
