K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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