Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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