one two three fourrrrnication!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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