I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We're too hungover to prance.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
