Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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