i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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