In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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