john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
