I'm going to rape someone's good day.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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