something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
