So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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