We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
