you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
