So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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