just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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