he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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