8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
