still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
