How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
