Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
