i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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