What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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