Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
