thus making me awesome and them whores
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
