I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
