Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
