I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
